TGID Newsletters

TGID Newsletters

TGID (Thank Goodness It's Dalton!) Newsletters

Our short and sweet TGID newsletters are emailed every Friday to Dalton distributors. Sometimes you'll find a write up on a new cartridge heater or platen heater application, and other times you'll find tried-and-true selling tips. We also take the time to occasionally spotlight one of our many fine Dalton employees.

One thing you will always find in TGID is our Friday Funnies—this is sure to give you an end-of-week chuckle or smile. We invite you to read, learn, and enjoy TGID!

Trust the Difference (Continued)2018-10-24

 

Trust the Difference (continued)

 

In forthcoming advertising we will continue to focus on the Dalton Difference.  Last week we began

the process of developing our third short video for marketing, focused on the Cost of Heating as

opposed to narrow-minded purchasing based on Price of the Heater.  Cost of Heating factors in

operating cost reduction, operating life (fewer heaters bought per year), reduction of maintenance

and heater changeout costs and reduced machine down-time.  This all factors to an average of a

40% reduction in the annual Cost of Heating.

 

      

 

The Dalton Difference is easily recognized by Maintenance Managers and Process Engineers,

who understand production costs and maintenance shop hours.  Seldom do we achieve a sale

by starting with the Purchasing Manager, who seldom understands the importance of Cost of

Heating.  The motivation for change comes from those who work with heaters daily and it is

ours to contact those decision makers directly.

 

           

 

           Friday Funnies

 

I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

 

A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

The Dalton Difference (Again)2018-10-12

 

The Dalton Difference (Again)

 

Bore Seizure is a maintenance issue the exemplifies the Dalton Difference.  Bilateral expansion of the

sheath legs of the Watt-Flex® cartridge heater produces better heat transfer, but the biggest feature

is de-energized contraction of the legs, providing ease of removal. Drilling out a seized conventional

cartridge can result in many maintenance hours in the machine shop.  This cost is generally more than

the price of a new heater, so where does the benefit lie in buying a cheaper heater?

 

         

 

Again, the decision maker is the Maintenance Manager, the Manufacturing Manager, the Foreman or

the Process Engineer.  Each works with heaters on a daily basis and has to live with the results of

buying the wrong heater.  Spend your time where you can have the biggest impact and teach them

to Trust the Dalton Difference !!!

 

      

 

          Friday Funnies

 

I went on a once in a lifetime holiday. Never again.

 

Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year.

 

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be...

Paul Trainor - 40 Years2018-10-05

Paul Trainor – 40 Years            

 

Paul Trainor joined Dalton Electric Heating Co. in 1978 as a production worker.  He was principally

involved with preparation of platens for our Diffusion Pump Heater business which, at the time,

represented one half of Dalton’s business.  After a couple of years of work, he joined the Watt-Flex®

cartridge heater manufacturing group.  As patented split-sheath cartridge heaters enjoyed solid

growth, Paul became more knowledgeable and experienced in their production.

 

Then Paul had the opportunity to transition to our Engineering staff as an assistant to our Chief

Engineer, serving under the management of several engineering managers.  In 1990 Paul was

promoted to Chief Engineer upon the departure of the existing manager.  In 1995 his position

transitioned to the present title of Manager of Technical Services with responsibilities for Quality

Assurance, Plant Safety and both Production and Application Engineering.

 

           

 

Paul has been responsible for many changes, designs and efficiencies in manufacturing

techniques and procedural policies.  He has struggled through computer design and

configurator implementation and held a steady hand on the steering wheel of Dalton

engineering.  We celebrated his forty years at Dalton with a company-wide Italian luncheon,

cake and ice cream.  Paul received a generous bonus gift card as well as a Diff-Therm trophy,

shown above, that could only be appreciated by a long-time and valuable employee !!!

 

           

 

                  Friday Funnies

 

A mathematician, physicist, and engineer are all trying to find the volume of a yellow bouncy ball. 

The mathematician gets his calipers out and measures the diameter, then evaluates the integral.  

The physicist fetches a bowl of water, drops the ball in and measures the displacement.  

The engineer strolls up with book in hand, checks for a serial number and looks up the volume in

     his yellow bouncy ball table.

The Dalton Difference2018-10-02

 

The Dalton Difference

 

If you have recently received an email from anyone at Dalton Electric Heating, you probably noticed a

seal adjacent to our address on the signature.  Working in conjunction with a new advertising agency,

we have moved to focus our branding on the beneficial differences that Dalton provides.  The seal reads

Trust the Dalton Difference, calling to mind that the Watt-Flex® cartridge heater provides a number

of differences from a conventional cartridge.

                                                                                            

Future advertising will focus on the Continuous Coil, providing a more even temperature profile

than any other cartridge on the market.  And the coil is a giant resistor, either on or off, eliminating

the possibility of sectional burnout.  It is one of the Dalton Differences !!!

 

 

 

 

      Friday Funnies

 

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

 

I hate Russian dolls...they’re so full of themselves.

 

A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police.

He's now a seasoned veteran.

Cold Calls2018-09-27

Cold Calls

 

Some salespeople consider cold calls an absolute waste of time and would rather go have a cup

of coffee.  Some salespeople take advantage of every opportunity that a day presents, no matter

how slim the odds of success.  Dalton has one Regional Sales Manager who lists calls around

planned calls on his trip schedule.  If he has time during the day, he will march into a company

and ask for the Maintenance Manager or Buyer.

 

Chris Stevens and I just returned from a 10-day road trip.  During travels with a distributor

salesman, I suggested making an unplanned call on a company.  We both noticed that he turned

his nose up at the suggestion.  The low percentage of successful cold calls and exploration can

be intimidating, but one good hit will spur you on to more attempts.

 

When Chris and I were in Canada, we had a planned call with a die caster that went very

smoothly.  When we walked out of the company, we both queued on plastic silos across the

street.  We walked in and asked for the Maintenance Manager and were successful in meeting

with him as well as the owner.  The MM was extremely interested in the elimination of bore

seizure and told us that he was disappointed that we were not there two weeks earlier when

he placed a $5,000 P.O. for cartridges to replace ones that he had to drill out.  We missed that

business, but surely will secure the next P.O.

 

Don’t be shy about walking into a potential opportunity.  Complete failure, either they don’t use

your product or nobody will talk with you, takes 10 minutes out of your day.  That is reasonably

incidental as compared with securing a new account in perhaps 10% of your cold calls.

 

       

 

                                    Friday Funnies

 

A sales manager was addressing an underperforming sales force at the start of a new month:

 

“We are going to have a sales contest this month. The winners will get to enter next month’s

contest.”

Thermocouple Profiles2018-09-05

Thermocouple Profiles

 

We have had some questions about the profile of the thermocouple groove, so I

thought I would pass along some pictures to clarify.  There are other excellent

pictures of thermocouples on our website:

http://daltonelectric.com/index.php/the-watt-flex-advantages/external-thermocouple

 

          

 

This is the profile of the groove into which the needle-type thermocouple is inserted.

It slides along the groove (within the diameter of the heater and bore) to the tip of

the heater and can monitor the temperature at any point along the profile of the

heater, depending on how far it is inserted.  The below picture shows the tip of the

thermocouple inserted to monitor temperature at the hot tip of the heater.

 

         

 

The other great advantage of this construction is that the thermocouple can be

replaced without having to trash the heater.  A thermocouple/conventional

cartridge heater usually loses the t/c first, but the entire assembly must be replaced.

 

 

 

  Friday Funnies

 

       FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS): 

 

  1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
  2. A will is a dead giveaway.
  3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
  4. A backward poet writes inverse.
  5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
  6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
  7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
  8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
  9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
  10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
  11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
  12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting  in Linoleum Blownapart.
  13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
  14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

An Appreciated Success2018-08-29

An Appreciated Success

 

We were contacted by an Engineer from a new customer in Europe.  He had a small brass shape that

he needed heated for a specialized sealing machine.  He had some problems with moisture during

wash-down and we reached a point where we performed a complete analysis of the application with

heat study, heater design and protection against contamination.  The communications went on for a

couple of months while the machine design went through changes.

 

                       

          

After some good period of time we completed the heater specifications and design location and

sent the order to manufacturing.  During the next two months, the heaters were made and shipped

and used in the sealing machine.  Then we received an email from the Engineer, informing us that

he had received a company award for fixing an application that had been plaguing operators for

years.  He was so pleased with our cooperation and his success, he promised that he would send

a bottle of champagne.

 

This week a beautiful bottle of Ice Rose (bubbly) arrived.  It was divided and enjoyed by a cast of

Dalton Electric characters and we sent a picture with a toast to the success of the Engineer.  Give

us your tough applications, the poor performance jobs that you come across.  We will work hard

to see that you have a good shot at a similarly wonderful reward !!!

 

               

 

 

             Friday Funnies

 
Teacher: Johnny, please use the words “letter carrier” in a sentence.
Johnny: Yes, ma’am. “My dad said that after seeing how many things my mom was bringing on
              vacation, he would rather letter carrier own luggage.”
 
First woman: My son came to visit for summer vacation.
Second woman: How nice! Did you meet him at the airport?
First woman: Oh, no. I’ve known him for years!

Dane Blake - 40 Years2018-08-22

Dane Blake – 40 Years

 

40 Years ago Star Wars was released, WKRP and Taxi debuted, Saturday Night Live introduced the

Blues Brothers, Jimmy Carter was inaugurated as President, Lego Man was born, Radio Shack

introduced the TRS-80, Elvis died and Dane Blake started working for Dalton Electric.  Dane’s father

would shortly become the first person to retire from Dalton.

 

When Dane started, we had a dozen manufacturing employees and a few people in the office.  Dane

has been principally serving in the brazing and welding department, having worked on hundreds of

thousands of cartridge heaters.  He has brazed stainless hose and braid to headers and welded

headers, flanges, brackets and fittings to cartridge heaters as well as trained countless new welders.

 

   

 

Dane chose a pizza fest for his lunch and it was thoroughly enjoyed by all.  His vanilla and chocolate

cake was accompanied by ice cream. In addition to a substantial pre-loaded VISA card, Dane was

presented with a silver serving tray and four monogrammed whiskey glasses.  Dane has cut back in

his weekly hours in anticipation of retirement, and is still a most valuable asset to Dalton Electric.

 

            

 

 

     Friday Funnies

 

A woman came home to find her retired husband waiving a rolled-up newspaper around his head. 

She asked, “What on earth are you doing, dear?”

 

He replied, “Swatting flies.  I got three males and two females.”

 

“And just how do you know what gender they are?” she inquired.

 

“Easy” he answered. “Three were on my beer and two were on the phone.”

 

Buying Decisions2018-08-13

Buying Decisions

 

Prospects have a process by which they make buying decisions. It is imperative that a salesperson

determines this process before making a presentation.  First, it is most important to be selling to the

decision maker.  If the question is not asked, your customer may politely listen and even engage in

your discussion, to no ultimate effect.  Occasionally, the process may include two individuals, perhaps

a Buyer and an Engineer.

 

Determining who the decision maker is goes a long way in understanding the decision making process.

What should the approach be? … How is the decision ultimately made? … What is the time frame for

making it?  If one makes a presentation or submits a proposal without this advanced knowledge, the

salesperson risks presenting the wrong information to the wrong person, at the wrong time and/or in

a manner inconsistent with the prospect’s decision making process.

 

Obtaining a buying commitment must begin with questions and not simple assumptions.  Determine

what the process is, who makes the decision, can it be made now or at some specific future timing

and, if possible and prior to the presentation, a commitment that a decision will be made.  If the

commitment is for a future time, be sure to add a recall on your calendar.

 

 

              Friday Funnies

 

NEW High School Teacher

 

After retiring from the service, a former Gunnery Sergeant took a new job as a high school teacher. 

Just before the school year started, he injured his back. He was required to wear a light plaster cast

around the upper part of his body.  Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable when

he wore his suit coat.

 

On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school.  The smarty

punks, having already heard the new teacher was former military, were leery of him and he knew they

would be testing his discipline in the classroom.

 

Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down

on his desk.  When a strong breeze blew through the open window, it made his tie flap. He picked up a

stapler and stapled the tie to his chest.

 

Dead Silence .

 

The rest of the year went smoothly.

Life Factor # 72018-07-27

Life Factor # 7

 

Environmental Factors

 

Environment is one of the toughest factors to influence.  Often times customer will have

ultimate control over exposure of a heater to contamination, but will not take the steps

necessary to achieve full life expectation of the heater.  The solution could be something

as simple as placing a guard or barrier to stop oil from dripping on the terminals.  Or it

could take place in the design of a machine, as in where the leads are anchored to

eliminate shock from movement cycling.

 

A distributor salesman usually gets the problem after it has manifested itself as heater

failure.   Dalton Electric takes the approach that it is incumbent on us to accommodate

an application and modify the heater to work with the givens of an application.  We rely

closely on you to secure a return of the damaged heater and to advise us on the

environmental conditions causing the failure.

 

           

 

If the solution to the problem can be affected by a customer change in design, that is an

easy and effective fix.  But causing a customer to change a routine can often be the hardest,

even when they realize that it is the cause of the problem.  That is when we step in with

suggestions for changes to the heater.  Possible solutions could be contaminate barriers,

including RTV or ceramic potting or the addition of a header or sleeving.  For failure due to

flexing, we can increase the size of the lead wire, add a clip support or change the terminal

design.  Problems outside the bore may be addressed by increasing the length of the

heater with the addition of an extra cold terminal end.  But, again, we rely on you to be a

big part of the solution.

 

 

 

     Friday Funnies

 

A thief in Paris planned an elaborate scheme to steal some paintings from the Louvre.  After

careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van.  

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked

how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied,

"Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the painting...I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the

Van Gogh." 

(And I questioned if I had De Gaulle to print this one in the TGID Newsletter.) 

Well, I figured I had nothing Toulouse.

Life Factor # 62018-07-27

Life Factor # 6

 

Fit in the Bore

 

It's an old subject for this "TGID" Newsletter, but it certainly is critical to life of the heater.  A

cartridge heater transfers heat to a heat sink as discussed last week.  It is accomplished in

two ways ... radiantly or through conduction (intimate contact with the bore).  And the Watt-

Flex® cartridge heater has a tremendous advantage over conventional, solid tube heaters.

                                       

The critical issue in achieving the far more efficient conduction heating is "fit".  Fit is the

difference between the O.D. of the heater and the I.D. of the bore.  A good, tight fit will

insure effective heat transfer ... unfortunately it will almost ensure bore seizure with a con-

ventional solid tube cartridge.  If the fit is loosened up a bit to assist with eventual removal,

greater radiant heating will decrease heat transfer effectiveness.

 

            

 

The Watt-Flex® cartridge heater (above on the right) is inserted into the bore and expands

to affect greater surface conduction, double that of a conventional heater.  Better conduction

of the heat allows the heater to run cooler to maintain the set point temperature:  Longer

Life !!!

 

 

 

                      Friday Wisdom

 

 

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university

professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.


Offering his guests coffee, the old professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot

of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking,

some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.  When all

the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice

looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones."

 

"While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your

problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most

cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of

you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups ...

and then you began eyeing each other's cups."


"Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups.

They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define,

nor change the quality of life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail

to enjoy the coffee God has provided us."


"God brews the coffee, not the cups.......... Enjoy your coffee!
The happiest people don't have the best of everything.
They just make the best of everything.
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly."

Life Factor # 2 (continued)2018-06-22

Life Factor # 2  (continued) 

 

Heater Design

 

Last week we explored Heater Design and its impact on the working life of a cartridge heater. 

Dielectric or insulation of the coil in the sheath and heat movement away from coil are both

significant factors.  The two failure modes of any cartridge heater are a short to ground and

an opening of the electrical continuity.  Therefore, the other major consideration in heater

design that impacts life is the integrity of the coil.

 

The gage or size of the wire is simply a matter of applying Ohms Law to the specification for

the heater.  Watts and volts establish a resistance and the wire that is coiled has a specific

resistance per inch that provides total ohms required.  There are a few design processes that

can be employed to optimize the winding to provide a more substantial wire, as very fine wire

will heat fatigue and open much more easily than a thick, larger diameter wire. 

                

Very occasionally, we will contact you to ask if we can change the specification, possibly

halving the voltage and running heaters in series.  This will result in a much more substantial

resistance coil and elimination of early failure from heat fatigue of fine wire.  As always,

Dalton will be seeking to optimize the working life of the heater.

 

 

 

         Friday Funnies

  

Does the statement, "We've always done it that way" ring any bells?

The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.

That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way

they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US Railroads.


Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the

same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used. Why

did "they" use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the

same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.


Okay!  Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried

to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance

roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.


So who built those old rutted roads? Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in

Europe (and England) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.  And the ruts

in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match

for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome,

they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.  The United States standard railroad

gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman

war chariot. And bureaucracies live forever.


So the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's a** came up with

it, you may be exactly right, because the Imperial Roman army chariots were made just

wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses.

 

Now the twist to the story:

When a Space Shuttle was sitting on its launch pad, there were two big booster rockets

attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These were solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The

SRBs were made by Thiokol at their factory at Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs

would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train

from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happened to run through

a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel was slightly

wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as

two horses' behinds.


So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what was arguably the world's most advanced

transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a

horse's a**. .... and you thought being a HORSE'S A** wasn't important!

Life Factor # 12018-06-08

Life Factor # 1

 

Watt Density

 

There is a direct correlation between the watt density of a cartridge heater and the amount

of heat produced by the heater.  Watt density is the number of watts per square inch

of heated surface area of the heater.  Obviously, tremendously high watt density can be

produced in a heater, but the real issue becomes supplying a warrantable watt density.

If the watt density is too high for an application, the heater will simply generate too much

heat to effectively transfer and burn itself up.

 

Uniform and denser compaction of the Magnesium Oxide in a Watt-Flex® cartridge heater

will allow a much higher warrantable watt density as compared to a conventional cartridge.

We have samples of 3/8" diameter heaters at 85 watts per square inch that burn bright

orange in open air all day at industrial shows.  Expansion in the bore for more effective heat

transfer to the host metal will also enhance the movement of heat away from the heater and,

consequently, the life of the cartridge.

 

Larger diameter heaters are not as tolerant of higher watt density because the overriding

concern becomes overall wattage.  For example, a heater at 3/8 x 20" with a watt density

of 100 watts/in² will be about 2340 watts, whereas a 3/4 x 20" at the same watt density will

be about 4720 watts.  Total wattage and amperage can become compromising factors in

the heater life.  If you are considering a high watt density heater, give us a call for all 

considerations.

 

 

 

                Friday Funnies

 

Many aspects of human sexuality are very puzzling.  Take celibacy. This can be a choice

in life, or a condition imposed by environmental factors:

 

While attending a Marriage Encounter Weekend, Bill and Jane listened to the instructor

declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each

other."  He addressed the men: "Can you each name and describe your wife's favorite flower?"

 

Bill leaned over, touched Jane's arm gently and whispered, "Self-raising, isn't it?"

 

… And thus began Bill's life of celibacy.

Major Acquisition2017-12-08

Major Acquisition

Dalton Electric Heating has hired Mr. Christopher Stevens to serve as Executive Vice President.  Chris

comes to Dalton with significant experience in Sales and Marketing and General Management.  He

has a degree in Mechanical Engineering from Northeastern University in Boston and an MBA from

Babson College.  His experience includes Product Management with Bostik, sales management with

Devcon and General Management with ITW.

 

Chris has lived his professional life in the industrial world and fully understands the disciplines  of

industrial sales and marketing, distribution and product development.  He will be working closely with

Eli and the Regional Managers to focus and refine Dalton’s sales efforts and capabilities.  We expect

the he will bring a fresh outlook as he travels to meet our many customers.

 

           

     

Chris lives with his wife and four children inSouthern Maine.  They are all downhill skiers and spend

weekends in the winter on the ski slopes in Maine and New Hampshire.  In the summer, Chris loves

to play golf, but will be quick to point out that Dalton Electric didn’t hire him to bolster their golf team.

We are excited about the fresh look that Chris will bring to Dalton and you can all look forward to

being contacted by him in the future.

 

A Black Day

 

Our Production Manager, Steve Lohnes, had the great misfortune of turning 50 years old this week

and the solemn occasion was recognized by his co-workers dressed in black, a sympathy card and

a pizza party, complete with an “Over-the-Hill” cake.

 

      

 

 

 

                      Friday Funnies

 

When the Sergeant told our new Commander that his driver could not participate in an upcoming field

maneuver because she was pregnant, the enraged Commander demanded to know how pregnant she

was.

 

The Sergeant’s reply: “Completely, sir.”

Welcome Jamie2017-01-20

Welcome Jamie

 

Dalton Electric Heating Co. has a new addition to the office staff.  Jamie Baker has joined

us in the capacity of Customer Service and Telemarketing and will be working on a part-time

basis.  She has spent her first week making heaters on the Production floor to get a true

understanding of the process and is now being trained on applications and Dalton procedures.

Jamie comes to us with great customer service experience of more than ten years and a

wealth of technical understanding, having spent many years with an industrial valve company.

 

          

        

In her spare time Jamie makes jewelry and loves to spend all four seasons on the beach.  She

is an avid birdwatcher and is a practicing photographer.  She lives locally with Chris and their

cheering squad of three daughters.  We welcome Jamie in her proactive role of telemarketing

to cartridge heater prospects and leads, as well as coordinating marketing efforts with our

distributors.

 

 

 

 

                      Friday Funnies

THE TEXT:

Hi Fred,

This is Alan next door. I have a confession to make. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months

and have been trying to get the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling you in text,

as I can't live with myself a moment longer without you knowing. The truth is I have been sharing your

wife, day and night when you're not around, in fact, probably more than you. I haven't been getting it

at home recently,  but that's no excuse, I know. The temptation was just too much. I can no longer live

with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies and forgive me. It won't happen again.

Please suggest a fee for usage and I'll pay you.

Regards, Alan


THE RESPONSE:

Fred, feeling insulted and betrayed, grabbed his gun, and shot his neighbor dead. He returned home

where he poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. He took out his phone where he saw

he has a second message from his neighbor:


THE SECOND MESSAGE:

Hi Fred, This is Alan next door again.
Sorry about the typo on my last text. I expect you figured it out anyway, and that you noticed that

darned Auto-Correct changed 'WiFi' to 'Wife.'  Technology, hey?

Regards, Alan

Page 3 of 4

Prevent
Bore Seizure

Eliminate
Uneven Heat

Reduce
Cost of Heating